We Were Just 22 When We Broke Up: How My Ex Chose an Older Woman, Spread Lies About Me, and Left Me …

We were 22 when we broke up. One day he told me he didnt feel the same anymore, that he needed something different. Just a few days later, I found out through a mutual friend. She rang me up and asked,

Is it true that hes seeing an older woman?

I asked what she meant, and she sent me a photo. There he was, arm around a woman who was clearly much older than him, sitting in a pub. It wasn’t some rumour. It was real. And whenever someone asked what happened, I didnt make excuses. I told them plainly: he left me to be with a much older woman.

Thats where it all began.

A week later, one of my friends messaged me on WhatsApp:

Hey, are you alright?

I asked why. She replied,

Well hes saying strange things about you.

Since I had no idea what she was talking about, I asked her to explain. She said hed been telling people I didnt wash, that my armpits smelled, my breath was terrible, and that once hed even seen nits in my hair. I was speechless. I just stared at the screen, lost for words.

And the comments kept coming. Another friend called to say hed been telling the same stories at a gathering, laughing about it in front of several people. He even said,

You lot dont know what Ive been through.

And when someone asked why he hadnt left me earlier, he replied,

Out of pity.

I started noticing the looks. People who used to greet me normally now glanced at me oddly. A colleague whod always been a bit envious handed me a can of deodorant just in case. I couldnt believe how quickly a lie could spread. He said it once, then kept repeating it, adding in new details whenever he liked.

I decided to message him. I sent a short note:

Why are you saying these things about me?

He replied hours later,

You started lying about me.

I told him I had only told the truth that he was with another woman. He shot back,

Thats nobody elses business.

He never denied what hed said. He never tried to stop the rumours or correct anybody. He just left it all out there, letting it spin.

Meanwhile, he was out and about with this woman, but insisted no one mention the age difference. I was just collateral damage.

The relationship ended, but the gossip lingered for months. I had to change my social circle, avoid certain places, cut off people who wouldnt stop repeating his words. He carried on as if nothing had happened.

Its so often us women who take the brunt when men are insecure.