My Brother Called Me Yesterday and Asked Me to Transfer My Share of the Country House to Him, Arguing That He Had Been Caring for Our Father for the Past Three Years

My brother rang me yesterday asking me to hand over my share of the family farm to him. His sole excuse was that he had looked after Dad for the past three years.

When I started university I moved out of the family house. After graduating I stayed in London, landed a decent job and got married. In due course our son was born.

My brother also married, but he kept living in the family home. I can say nothing bad about him hes a solid fellow and his wife, Emma, is wonderful. They lived peacefully with Mum and Dad for many years until they had two children of their own. Even though we were on our own and could still visit the farm whenever we liked, my fatherinlaw still gave us a car as a gift.

In the summer we often drove down to the coast for a break and helped Mum and Dad with housework and gardening. Rachel was always close to Mum; everyone wanted to give her a hand. Three years ago Mum passed away and I could no longer help as much. On top of that the global recession hit, and I had to take on extra work to keep our flat.

We barely had time to go into the city. A month ago Dad died. We organised the funeral together and split the costs evenly between us and our brother.

Now my brother is calling again, asking if I could bequeath my portion of the farm to him. He argues that he spent three years caring for our dad. I was taken aback Dad received a modest monthly pension that even helped his grandchildren. How could a man of his age need money, especially on a farm?

He seems to think hes entitled, but Im not sure what he means by caring. Mum and Dad never said the house would go to him alone. I dont want to damage our relationship, yet I cant see why I should give up something thats rightfully mine. I have a loan that still needs repaying, and our child could also receive some support from his grandparents.

Were at a loss. I gave my brother no firm answer, only saying Id have to discuss it with my wife first. How do we handle this without tearing the family apart?