I Can Hardly Believe It!

I cant believe it. Once again, twenty years after that night, Im twirling with you in a waltz, the same way we did at the school prom. Do you remember that night? The ballroom was filled with swaying couples, happiness hanging in the air like perfume, and I was drowning in the depth of your eyesthose startling, iceblue eyes. I wanted to tell you something vital then: that we were on the brink of becoming parents. When I finally blurted it out, you snapped, Its too early to think about that. We have to wait. It hit me like a cold splash of water. I knew I was right, that the timing was wrong, but what could I do? Nothing could change it. We went our separate ways, yet my love for you lingered long after. Youd crushed my heart then, leaving my soul in shards. I knew you would never look back, never repent; you were as hardhearted as stone, and that iron will was exactly what I had loved about you.

Our former classmates whispered about your private life. I learned youd been married, divorced, with two grown sons. You still turned up at every reunion, always asking after me, while the other alumni knew nothing of my world. I never attended a school gatheringfear held me back. I was terrified that if I met your gaze again I would simply sink, never to surface. That fear lasted a decade.

Then he entered my life. I threw myself into marriage without feeling anything for him except gratitude. He sensed my emptiness and never pressed. He took my daughter as his own. I named the girl Poppy, because no other name felt right; her curls reminded me of the way your hair fell. My husband loves me, I can feel it in every fiber of my beinghis actions, his words, even the way he looks at me speak of tenderness. About five years into our marriage I realized I had fallen for the man Id married. He wrapped me in his words, became my anchor, found the key to my heart without me even noticing. I walked through his door into a realm of kindness and understanding, a place no one could trespass. Love, after all, is the only salvation, Val. You never truly loved me; to you I was just a youthful diversion.

The past rings loudly in my ears.

So, how are you holding up, Val?

Ah, Emily lifes a bit of a mess, a horse without reins. The boys run their own races, Im left here on my own. I think of you often, he said, his voice low.

We have three children nowPoppy and a pair of sixyearold twin girls. And remember your old friend, Stephen Marsh?

Marsh? Of course. He was my best, even my only true friend. After school he cut off contact, stopped answering calls, avoided meetings I havent heard from him since, I replied.

Val, come to the window. Look at the schoolyard,

Valent, now called Val, stepped to the open casement. He couldnt tear his eyes away from what lay beyond.

I get it, Emily. I understand everything now The twists of fate are cruel, he whispered.

In the schoolyard below, Stephen Marsh stood holding the hands of two toddlers. Beside him, a young woman in her twenties stared out, her eyes as blue as the sea.

Goodbye, Val, she called, turning toward her family. Im heading home.

Emily, why did you come to the reunion this year? Val asked, his voice trembling.

I stopped being afraid, Valentine. Looking at you now, my soul is finally silent, I said, the tension in the air thick enough to cut.