The Girl Doesn’t Know Basic Household Skills… What Should I Do? My Reflections on Not Becoming the S…

My mother-in-law passed away a few years ago, and after we laid her to rest, I made a promise to myself: either you speak kindly of the departed, or you say nothing at all.

I also swore something elsethat no matter who my son brought home as his partner, I would never become the kind of mother-in-law she had been.

But you know how it isintentions are one thing, real life is another.

My only son, William, just turned 25 and this summer he brought a girlfriend home to meet us.

Determined to keep my vow not to meddle, I welcomed the girl warmly, trying to keep my judgements at bay.

I told myself: I won’t look down on her, I won’t find fault with her ways, I won’t dole out lessonsmy late mother-in-law did all that, and it only led to resentment between us. That is the last thing I want for William and his girlfriend. I genuinely enjoy making them coffee in the mornings, knowing exactly who likes what for breakfast, and I love spoiling them a bit on weekends. During the week, though, I just don’t have time for those little extras.

So, I tend to make myself scarceheading out with my husband to the lake, popping over to see a friend, or visiting Mum to make chutneys and pickles. That leaves the two of them to have the house to themselves.

But then something happened the other evening, something that gave me pause and made me want to share this story. One night, the girlfriend showed me a lovely new blouse she had picked up on her way home from work.

It wasn’t expensive, and the price had dropped even lower as it was missing a button.

She tried it on, turned aroundit suited her perfectly and she looked lovely in it. The following day, Friday, we were heading out together for a visit and I asked if she wanted to wear her new blouse She said she couldnt because she hadnt been able to sew the button back on.

Oh, really? I blurted out, truly taken aback that a 22-year-old didnt have a needle, some thread, or even a spare button.

And it made me wonder: darling, how will you cope tomorrow? How will you manage a household, take care of a family, make important decisions?

Now Im honestly at a lossshould I just sew the button back on myself and move along, should I show her how to do it, or should I leave it beif she wants to wear the blouse, shell sort it, and if not, well, itll wait in the cupboard, buttonless.

Theres one thing I know for sureI dont want to turn into the sort of mother-in-law I disliked so much. Ive seen what that does, and I want a different path for us.