The Mother-in-Law Was Wonderful Until She Refused to Pay for Her Grandson’s Lessons

My husband James and I live very modestly. Were raising our threeyearold son, Charlie. At the start of the year we enrol him in a nursery in Birmingham, and I go to work, but it hardly changes our budget. Were still scrimping, barely getting by, and we never buy anything extra.

The monthly nursery fee is often steep, so we dont sign Charlie up for any extra classes. It saves us a little money.

Yesterday my mother, Margaret, arrives for a twoweek visit. She looks after Charlie and picks him up from the nursery each day. A few days later we receive a bill from the nursery that is half again as much as usual. Im shocked. It turns out Margaret has signed Charlie up for a handful of extra activities speech therapy, a sports club and dance lessons.

When the month ends I cancel all the extras, but we still have to pay for the period they were running. James and I start wondering where the money will come from. James suggests borrowing from his mother, Evelyn, and we do just that. After explaining the loan to Evelyn, she says shell cover the extra lessons herself and transfers the money to our account with a note for Charlie.

At first I feel awkward about my motherinlaw stepping in. How can James and I be seen as responsible parents if we cant afford basic provisions for our only child? After a while I get used to Evelyns monthly contributions and realise theres nothing wrong with it. Why shouldnt a grandmother pay for her grandsons extra classes, just as she would buy him toys or other things?

Evelyn has now been paying for the lessons for two years, never missing a payment and never needing a reminder. Our finances havent improved, and as Charlie approaches reception the question of paying for extra tuition comes up again. We need him to be ready for school he should be able to write and read, otherwise he will fall behind.

I call Evelyn and try to persuade her to cancel the speechtherapy sessions and redirect the money to something else, like English lessons. Charlie speaks well enough that a therapist isnt necessary, and those funds could go toward a language class. Evelyn replies matteroffactly that she wont fund the English lessons, but she agrees the speech therapist should be dropped.

A few days later I go for a manicure while James and Charlie visit Evelyn. When I get home I see James looking angry and distressed. I instantly know something is wrong. Charlie tells his grandmother that he didnt attend the classes she paid for; instead hes supposed to start English lessons. Evelyn erupts, calling us liars and accusing us of being cruel. She declares shell never give us any more money and demands that we return the amount we spent last month.

I try calling her back to discuss it, but she wont even listen. Shes had enough, and now well have to pay for the classes ourselves.

So Im stuck. If Evelyn wont pay and we cant afford it, what do we do next? James sides with his mother, apparently convinced by whatever nonsense she fed him. Hes taken her side completely. Im left wondering how to get out of this mess.