When Our Grown-Up Kids Chose ‘Independence’: How Their Quest for Freedom Led to Debt, Losing Their F…

The foolish youngsters thought themselves terribly clever, set on living independently, only to end up neck-deep in debt and without a roof over their heads.

When our children tied the knot, both sets of parents thought it best to give them a good start by helping with their first home. My husband and I had gathered a modest nest egg, and the in-laws had some savings too. We pooled our resources, and it was enough for a small flat. Wed hoped to buy it straightaway for them, but the pair insisted they wanted to stand on their own two feet and manage it themselves.

Not long after, we discovered they had indeed bought a flat but a rather large three-bedroom one. And how did they manage that? Theyd marched off to the bank and taken out a hefty loan for the privilege. And who was to pay the monthly bills? They assured everyone they could manage.

Next came the desire for a car. The flat was nowhere near their workplaces, and public transport was, apparently, beneath them. Instead of considering a reliable second-hand motor as we suggested, they splurged on a brand-new one straight from the showroom, also on finance. Reassuring us again: “Were grown-ups now, we know what were doing, well manage.”

Then, the talk turned to having a baby, but it wasnt enough for the little one to arrive locally no, our daughter wanted to give birth abroad so their child could have dual citizenship. They borrowed yet again to pay for private care, determined to have top-notch doctors and every comfort.

The baby arrived. Then, of course, the nursery needed a makeover, so another loan was taken out. When we asked how they intended to pay for all this, back came the familiar answer: “Weve got it covered, were doing this ourselves.”

Then fate took a turn. My son-in-law lost his job, and our daughter was off work caring for the baby. The money soon dried up. The repayments loomed. What now? They turned to us, begging us to sell our little cottage outside London to help cover their debts. We didnt want to, but what could we do? We sold it to help, hoping it would be enough. It wasnt.

In the end, they had to sell their flat, and not long after, the car went too. They moved in with their in-laws, and now they sit and mourn all theyve lost. Of course, they complain nothing belongs to them. We warned them, but they wouldn’t listen. The loans still hang over their heads; itll be years before they’re clear. Only sorrow and tears remain.