For years, my mother and I had a difficult relationship, but I never imagined things could go so far…

For years, my mother and I have always had a difficult relationship, but I never imagined things could go quite this far. I have two children a daughter, Emily, who is nine, and a son, Oliver, who’s six. Since my ex and I parted ways, I’ve raised them on my own. Ive always been responsible, hardworking, and attentive to my kids, but still, my mum kept insisting that I was not cut out to be a mother. Whenever she visited, shed poke around rummaging through the fridge, checking if there was any dust, giving me grief if the laundry wasnt folded exactly how she liked, or if the kids werent absolutely silent while she was around.

Last week, she came over to help because Oliver had caught a cold. She said shed stay for two days. One afternoon, while shed nipped out to the corner shop, I was searching for a receipt in the cabinet under the telly, and I stumbled across it: a thick, black notebook with a red ribbon as a marker. I thought it was mine at first one of those I use for jotting down expenses but it wasnt. Inside, it was her handwriting. And the first page read:

Logbook in case legal action is necessary.

I turned the page and there it was: a list of dates and notes, all about what she considered my failures. For example:
3rd September: the children ate reheated rice.
18th October: Emily went to bed at 10pm far too late for her age.
22nd November: there were clothes waiting to be folded in the living room.
15th December: Saw her looking tired not fit to be caring for children.

Every single thing I did, every minor detail of my home shed written it all down as though it was some crime. And some things were simply made up:
29th November: left the child alone for 40 minutes.

That never happened.

Then I found something worse: a section titled Contingency Plan. She had written down the names of my aunts who she believed would confirm that I was under too much stress something none of them have ever claimed. Shed printed out text messages where Id asked her not to drop by unannounced, as I was busy. She kept them as proof that I reject help.

There was even a paragraph stating that, if she could prove I was disorganised or untidy, she could apply for temporary custody of the children for their protection.

When she returned from the shop, I was shaking. I didnt know whether to confront her, keep quiet, or just run. I put the notebook back exactly where Id found it.

That evening, she made an oh-so-casual remark:
Perhaps the children would do better with someone a bit more organised

Thats when I realised the notebook wasnt just something shed thought of in a moment of spite it was a fully laid-out plan. Carefully considered, well-organised, deliberate.

I didnt let on that Id seen her notes. I know that if I did, shed just deny it all, twist things around, and somehow make it all my fault which would only make the entire situation even more dangerous.

I have no idea what to do.
Im frightened.
And more hurt than words can say.