I’m 89 Years Old. Someone Tried to Scam Me Over the Phone—But I’m an Engineer.

Im 89 years old. I got a call from someone trying to scam me. But I was an engineer.

That Tuesday morning, as I sat sipping a cup of English breakfast tea and pondering my crossword puzzle, the phone rang. Im 93 now and my minds still as sharp as it was when I was programming back in the 60s.

Mrs. Atkinson? came a smooth voice from the other end. Were calling regarding some irregularities on your account. Weve noticed suspicious activity.

Ah. Another one.

Oh dear, what a fright, I replied, giving my best tremulous old lady voice. What should I do, young man?

Youll need to confirm your bank card number for me.

Of course, of course Let me just find my glasses I let the silence linger for a moment. Actually, why don’t you tell me the last four digits, and Ill confirm if youve got the right one? Just so I know youre legitimate.

Awkward pause.

Thats not how this works, madam. We need the full number.

I see, I sighed. Just tell me, does the line youre calling from use a standard VoIP protocol, or is it point-to-point encrypted?

Another pause.

Madam, you just need to

Im only asking because, as we speak, I continued calmly, Ive already traced your IP address. Fascinating looks like youre calling from an internet café. You know, I spent forty years designing security systems. Im a systems engineer. You learn a thing or two doing that.

I madam

And another interesting thing, I added. Ive just activated a script on my line. Its currently extracting data from your device. Shall I read out your contact list, or would you prefer I send it straight to the authorities?

I could hear him swallow.

Thats illegal

Illegal? I chuckled. Son, I was writing code before your grandmother learned to walk. By the way, Im recording this entire conversationwith all the metadata. And do you know whats the best bit? I can see your screen. Hello there, Daniel. Cracking profile picture. Does your mother know what you get up to?

Click.

He hung up.

I laughed so hard I nearly spilt my tea. Then I rang my grandsonthe one who always jokes that I dont understand technology.

Oliver, I said when he answered, Ive just outsmarted a scammer who tried to nick my money. Still think I dont know my way round the internet?

Lesson learned? Never underestimate an old engineer. Were full of surprises.