My Husband Always Compared Me to His Mum

Honestly, this sort of thing happens quite a lot. I got married when I was 25, and a year later, had a little girl. Things were going smoothly between us, at first. Then, after a while, my husband started calling me lazy. Apparently, being on maternity leave wasnt real work, and later on, even though I earned just a bit less than him, he still went on about my small salary.

You know how they say, after you get married, you only really see the influence of your partners mother? I shouldve seen the warning signs from the very start. But I was blind and deaf to them all.

My husband would constantly compare me to his mum, who he thought was the ideal woman. Shed run the allotment, do all the bookkeeping, raise two kidsshe was always on top of everything. But what about me? I had to work shifts, all full-time.

I absolutely wore myself out trying to be just like my mother-in-law. I helped around her house, lent a hand at the allotment, even did the cleaning up. When my daughter started school, I made sure I was there to help with her homework too. But honestly, my worries just got bigger. The job was tough, the pay barely covered anything, and I picked up extra shifts all the time. I felt like I just had to put up with it. I was still financially tied to my husband. Hed tease me, and I just tried to ignore it. The last thing I wanted was a divorceI didnt want my child growing up without her dad.

But, you know, the more you let someone take advantage, the worse it gets. When I tried to tell him how wiped out I was after work, that I couldnt just go straight to another job, he said hed only give me however much of his pay as I was earning, and hed save the rest for himself. Apparently, that was fair. By then, our relationship was already hanging by a thread, and thenit just snapped.

One day I realised, I simply couldnt live like that any longer. I was fed up with all his nagging, the constant lectures, and being compared to his mother. The last straw was when he said, if I wasnt willing to find a proper job, hed just move back in with his mum. That really stuck with me. But it still took me three whole years to actually send him packing back to her.

Eventually, I landed another job through a friendone that paid properly, too. I dont even like remembering what I went through back then. But I did it! Got divorced, went through the whole palaver of dividing up our things, swapped flats, had our fair share of rows.

And now? Now Ive finally got my peace. Its just me and my daughter, and I feel calm and genuinely happy without my ex.

Ive got my own little place, a job I really enjoyit might not be some fancy dream gig, but it gives us everything we need. Of course, my family still tries to set me up with random blokes, convinced I must be miserable because Im divorced. They think happiness can only come from having another man around. But honestly, why would I want that? Ive already had a husband. Maybe I should wear a sign on my forehead: Young, happy, not interested in dating. Living my best life with my daughter. Not looking to mess that up with marriage again. My ex, hes perfectly happy living with his mum now, so everyones where they belong.