Connect with us

З життя

John Smith Woke Up This Morning… To be fair, the day was already off to a fine start. When you tu…

Published

on

I woke up this morning feeling oddly triumphant. When you reach the grand old age of 118, simply opening your eyes is a bit of a victory in itself.

As always, I began the day with a routine checkup. Left eyegood as gold. Right eyecloudy, but nothing a quick rinse and a squirt of drops couldnt fix. Good as new. I bent and flexed every joint that still agreed to bend, and for the stubborn ones, a drop of oil did the trick.

I checked my ability to move forward and reverse, ran a quick diagnostic on my neckturned left, right, a fine satisfying crack, limbered up for the day. Two stomps, three claps, and thus, a new day began.

At eight on the dot, right on schedule, I got my annual birthday call from the Pensions Office.

Hello, Lydia, its me, I rasped cheerfully down the line.

Good morning, Mr. Jones, she replied, voice as dreary as a rainy Tuesday. How are you feeling today?

Cant complain, I said, grinning into the receiver.

A shame, really. Youre the reason Ive had five warnings this year already! Todays thirty years since you switched from your private pension to the state one.

Oh, sorry about that. Is it true were getting a rise this month?

Yes… a rise, she answered, her tone dropping like a leaky roof. You arent, by chance, working on the side, are you? she asked, with a hopeful note.

No, sadly, Ive got more than enough money to last me.

Pity… All the best she trailed off and hung up.

At nine, it was breakfast with my great-great-grandson. He didnt live with me, but the lad always had a key. First thing, hed measure everythingkitchen, bathroom, you name it. Then hed sit, calculating material costs and doodling possible furniture. Today, he forgot his tape measure.

Grab the old one from the dresser, I suggested. Your granddadsstill going strong, I chuckled, pouring the tea. He sighed deeply and tucked into my famous eggs.

By ten, I was out by the front steps, enjoying a smoke.

Oy, Johnny, still having a fag, are you? You know thatll kill you The neighbour stopped short, looking at me, a relic whod started smoking at an age most drop from what kills you.

Were off to London today.

What for?

Bit of sightseeing. Gonna try the tube, see Buckingham Palace, catch the Changing of the Guard before they all retire.

Is that worth seeing?

Have you seen it yourself?

Yeah, once. The Queen came to our village.

In a coffin?!

No, in a carriage.

Alright, how old are you really?

Eighteen, mate, I muttered, puffing on my cigarette.

Get out of town.

No, really. I stayed for an extra term.

Well, happy coming of age, then!

Cheers, I said, trundling inside.

At eleven, the director of my mobile company rang, nearly in tears, begging me to switch tariffs. The plan I was on had been kept alive for my benefit alone; in modern pounds, it was so outdated they were almost paying me just to keep it.

By five, I was at the supermarket. On my birthday, you get a discount equal to your age, so I picked up a cake, a kilo of bananas, and a widescreen telly. There was enough change for a cab and some removal men.

Seven oclock, the mortuary rang. Asked me politely to finally come and collect my insurance policyand the pair of slippers Id ordered just in case.

At eight, the guests arrived. I set the table, switched on my new TV, poured the wine. Toasts were sparse; no one quite knew what wishes to offer at my age. So everyone just took turns silently standing up.

At ten, the police knocked on the door, requesting I keep the noise down; after all, there were elderly neighbours next door. I answered and could see them struggling to process the irony.

By midnight, most guests had departedsome to their homes, some to the hospital. Smiling to myself, I slipped off my ring and tucked it under the pillowa magical golden band my wife had left me, with tiny letters engraved: Live for both of us.

And I have, every single day. Today reminded me that life is best lived with a bit of humour, a bit of kindness, and always, with an eye for those small, magical details that keep us going.

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Ваша e-mail адреса не оприлюднюватиметься. Обов’язкові поля позначені *

вісімнадцять − дванадцять =

Також цікаво:

CZ23 хвилини ago

Tajemství za koupelnovými dveřmi na Vinohradech

Poprvé jsem si to všimla, když naše sedmiletá Anička přestala navazovat oční kontakt, kdykoli se s Petrem vrátili z večerní...

CZ35 хвилин ago

Vánoční večeře, kterou má dcera nechtěla vařit

Jmenuji se Jarmila a je mi sedmdesát jedna let. Žiju v Olomouci, v témže cihlovém domku na Hodolanech, kde jsem...

CZ40 хвилин ago

Dvě ruce, které jsem se bála pochopit

Pokaždé, když jsem otevřela dveře tátova pokoje, zahlédla jsem ty samé prsty mizející pod dekou — a pak jsem jednoho...

CZ53 хвилини ago

Manžel pod cizí jménou v mobilu

Petra zahlédla jeho auto před domem kolegyně a nespustila jedinou slzu. Co udělala potom, bylo mnohem horší pro něj i...

CZ53 хвилини ago

Dveře, za kterými se rozhodlo o dvou životech

Jmenuju se Petra Hrubá, dvacet šest let pracuju jako noční vrátná v jednom z panelových domů na Jižním Městě v...

HE2 години ago

המזל”ט של בן אדר

ים התיכון היה אפור בשקיעה כשרונית כהן יצאה מהמונית ליד מלון דיוויד אינטרקונטיננטל בתל אביב, והבטיחה לעצמה שהערב הזה יחתום...

CZ5 години ago

Dva roky do penze – a zlatý retrívr, co nejde od hrobu

Jana Veselá stála v kuchyni jejich řadovky v Ostravě-Porubě a krájela papriku na večeři, když Zdeněk přišel s novinou, která...

CZ5 години ago

Pán Dvořák a křídy, které rozdělily dům

Svítání na Žarošické bylo šedé a vlhké, a první věc, kterou jsem to ráno ucítil, nebyla vůně kávy, ale podrážka...