My Friends Are Buying Flats and Spending Money on Renovations, While My Girlfriend Has Blown All Her Savings Trying to Boost Our Finances

Everyone seems to have a lovely wife, and somehow Ive ended up with a right daft one.

Before the wedding, shed strut around telling everyone that wed have no trouble buying a flat. Oh, the guests will give us plenty of money, shed say, and our families will pitch in, so well be home-owners in no time! In truth, her parents scoffed at the whole idea. Apparently, the moment she sashayed in proudly announcing her foolish plan to marry a washed-up estate agent at twentywithout so much as a degreethey laughed out loud at her. Their solution to our housing crisis? Youll sort something out. Cheers for the vote of confidence. In the end, I had to move my darling spouse into my parents house.

My brother already lives there, mind, with his heavily pregnant girlfriend, and its all elbows and suitcases as it is. My parents hinted (less than subtly) that maybe, just maybe, we ought to find our own placeeven if it meant renting a poky flat. But oh no, I hatched a grand plan to save every penny so we could put down a proper deposit and actually buy a house someday. My wife was fully on boardor so she said until she sneakily did the worst thing imaginable. What did she do with our savings? She bought stocks.

Yes, stocks. All to grow our money. Marvelous!

I nearly dropped dead when I found out, but my mum nearly fainted properly when she heard. My hearts in tatters because the value of our investment is heading south, and now we cant even sell the shares easily. So either we cut our losses and admit defeat, or cross our fingers and hope that, in some shimmering distant future, those wretched stocks rebound. So, while all our mates have settled into cosy little homes with families and perhaps a dog called Stanley, all weve got are some useless shares!

To make matters worse, my wifes weeping buckets, wallowing in regret after being hoodwinked by some so-called financial gurus who sold her a course on how and where to invest. And there I am, desperately weighing up whether I can really stay married to someone who turns our savings into Monopoly money. My love isnt exactly overflowing if I cant let this go. All I can think about are the pounds I slogged for, saved for years, and now theyre disappearing before my very eyes.

Honestly, looking back, our marriage got off on the wrong foot from the get-go, and this fiasco just proves I must be living under a perpetual rain cloudall for marrying a silly girl.