Over the past two months, my grandmother’s extended family has been constantly calling me, asking me to take care of the elderly lady.

My nan was really awfulhonestly, in some ways she was downright nasty.

My mum and dad split up when I was really little, too young to remember any of it, to be honest. Mum and I moved in with Nan when I turned five, and she took care of me for pretty much all of my childhood that I can actually remember.

Nan was a hard woman. The main expectations were always to behave and work hard. I genuinely cant recall anything good about her at all.

So, while other people look back on their childhoods with nostalgia or sadness, I just dont want to remember mine at all. Theres nothing there for me. Mum wasnt much help either. And there was nowhere for us to gothis was back in the nineties, so I just had to make do. All I could do was dream about money and getting a steady job. Nan would boss both me and Mum around, wanting everything to be exactly how she liked.

Thats how we lived. And in public, of course, we always pretended everything was fine and dandy.

When I got to year five at school, things started looking brighter for Mum. She met a bloke, and eventually moved in with him. A year later, she brought me along too. My stepdad wasnt mad about me, but he never treated me badly. Compared to living with Nan, where it was just endless battles, living with Mum and my stepdad was heaven.

Nan didnt approve of Mums relationship, but Mum honestly just grabbed the chance to escape that tyrant in a skirt. Mum cut off contact completely after that.

I ring Nan now and then, about once a month, but it takes me ages to psyche myself up. When I do call, the conversations always brief and about nonsense. To avoid the flood of negativity, I stick to good news and keep things pretty general, just a few messages and pleasantries. Twice a yearfor her birthday and for ChristmasI pop round with some flowers and a cake. Thirty minutes max, then Im out. Thats the extent of our contact.

Lifes good for me now. Ive got a lovely partner, a toddler, and a close-knit little family. Me and my husband recently decided to take out a mortgage and buy a flat in a different town. Last year, Nan turned eighty.

She used to keep herself together and managed her own place, but lately things have gone downhill.

Nans become withdrawn, doesnt even leave the house anymore, let alone cook. Mostly shes just lying down, though she can still potter about the flat a bit. Shes been poorly latelyher neighbours have been looking after everything. Honestly, the situations turned so that Nan needs proper care.

Nans got loads of distant relatives, and now they ring me endlessly with complaints! They cant get in touch with Mum, whos living with her husband abroad these days. So now they expect that its all on me.

But I know what Id be letting myself in for. Yes, she raised me, looked after me, taught me things. And in a way, it feels like its my turn to repay her. But I really, really dont want to! She never showed me any love as a child. I think Ive learned to let go of the resentment about how she acted towards me, but I just cant forgive her. Still, obviously, theres this guiltI know I ought to help the old girl.

It would be easy if I could just hire a carer, but frankly, my bank account wont allow it. Weve got a kid, a loan, and my sons often under the weather.

So, what am I supposed to do?

Is a granddaughter really expected to look after her elderly nan, or does she have the right to refuseespecially since shes not after any inheritance? She doesnt even want anything from Nanno legacy, nothing.